The past is constantly lurking up to say hello, even when we’re looking toward the future. I have been rolling around in a sea of nostalgia recently, and it doesn’t feel like something I’ve actively sought out. I’ve accidentally ended up in several situations that brought me back to my late teens or early twenties, be it seeing people, hearing music, or being haunted by ghosts. Memory is so sensory, and it’s so interesting how you can be brought back to a different time in a split second.
I read a lot in March, and I’m not really sure why, but my rambles on nostalgia are connected to a particularly intense Mercury retrograde this month, and a trip to New York, which is the site of some of my best memories, with some of my most beloved people. I was back in Carroll Gardens for my friend Andrea’s 40th. This trip was similar to the others in that there was eating, drinking and being merry, as well as some random bagpipes, being called a crack baby on the Subway (thank you!) and learning about random Hebrew words right before Passover. New York really is such a special city, and nothing else I did this month really matters, except for the EIGHTEEN books I read and listened to. I’m currently furiously typing this on my iPad instead of sleeping. I’ve always been a little sensitive to jet lag.
Music is also below. Love and light!
For Richer, For Poorer by Danielle Steel
If you held a gun to my head, I could not tell you what happens in this. Not one detail. But I listened to it on audio and I think I enjoyed it?
The Last Dream by Pedro Almodovar
This was a Food and Fiction pick for my book club, which means that I wanted to go for tapas and I picked this book as an accompaniment for the dinner. Pedro Almodovar is my favourite film director and his short stories reminded me so much of his work. They’re so strange, but so beautiful and human. There was a lovely translator’s note that was unlike anything I’d ever seen on a translation before. There’s a mix of autobiography, stories clearly inspired by his films, and odd fairy tales. Worth a read if you’re a fan of his, and even if you’re not.
Wham! George and Me by Andrew Ridgeley
Real fans will know that I’m a huge George Michael and Wham fan, so when I spotted that this was available as an audiobook on BorrowBox, I jumped on it. It’s essentially Andrew Ridgeley’s autobiography, told through the lens of his relationship with George Michael. They met as school friends, became global superstars, and then George went solo, and though their friendship carried on, they lived different lives. It’s such an enjoyable book for a fan, and I was moved to tears in public listening to him talk about how George’s sudden death impacted him.
Common Goal, Role Model & The Long Game by Rachel Reid
I finished the gay hockey books! Bring on season two!
Strangers by Belle Burden
My friend Clare listened to this on audio and recommended it to me, and my word. What a cautionary tale. Belle Burden is a rich and privileged New York society wife and mother, descended from notable families on both sides. She marries her husband, who ascends into a hedge fund CEO during their twenty-year marriage. One day, he wakes up, says he doesn’t love her, that he doesn’t want to see their children, and leaves. It’s shocking to learn about the unravelling of a marriage, and how one can be so unprotected despite their privilege. Compulsive reading, or listening!
44 Poems on Being with Each Other by Padraig O Tuama
I got this as a gift, and I’m not sure that the person who got it for me knew that I used to be a listener of the On Being podcast. It’s a lovely collection of poetry that relates to different experiences of being with people, accompanied by Padraig O Tuama’s reflections on each piece.
This Immaculate Body by Emma van Straaten
I recently converted from Kindle to Kobo, and this was my first purchase. It was on the recommendation of my friend Katie, who was reading it for another book club that she’s part of. You may have heard about “weird girl lit”, but this is the best and most clever example of the genre that I’ve ever read. Despite being a paralegal, Alice cleans Tom’s flat every Wednesday. She is obsessed with him, and knows that one day they’ll fall in love. It’s an incredible and precise story of disgusting and overwhelming obsession, and I completely devoured it.
Poetry Prescription: Comfort by Deborah Alma
I had a meltdown this month because Mother’s Day, which I never really celebrated with my mother, sent me into a grief-stricken tailspin. The weirdest thing about my mum dying has been the things that upset me that I didn’t think would, and the things that don’t upset me that I thought would. Anyway, my friend Sara bought me this lovely little book of poetry that brought me a lot of comfort when I needed it.
Essential Ideas: Serenity by The School of Life
I picked this little volume up on our last trip to Hay. I think I’m just too well-versed on serenity, because I didn’t get a lot out of it, despite usually really enjoying The School of Life, and Alain de Botton.
The Book You Want Everyone You Love to Read by Philippa Perry
Another audiobook from BorrowBox. I had actually bought this in hard copy, but realised that it’s the type of book that does so much better being listened to. I really like Philippa Perry, and used to really enjoy reading her advice column. As you’d expect, her observations and advice on life and relationships of all kinds are interesting and useful.
Three Days in June by Anne Tyler
I got this in a blind date with a book at The Reader that I went to on Valentine’s Day. When I read the blurb, I really wasn’t excited, but turns out that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover because I ended up really enjoying it. It’s told from the viewpoint of Gail, a sixtysomething schoolteacher, who is forced to host her ex-husband Max for the wedding weekend of their daughter. It’s simple and quotidian, but completely brilliant in its observation of people and their weird interactions with one another.
Chosen Family by Madeleine Gray
I loved Madeleine Gray’s debut Green Dot, so I was thrilled to get her second novel on a 99p daily deal on the Kobo store. It hops between the present day, where Eve is solo parenting her seven-year-old daughter Lake, back to Eve’s school days and her friendship with Nell, which we then track up to the present day. It’s a beautiful and realistic book about the intricacies of love, friendship and chosen family. There’s also a significant character called Bridget in it, which was very exciting.
Every One Still Here by Liadan Ni Chuinn
This was the pick for April’s book club, so I don’t want to say too much about it, but it’s a collection of short stories by an anonymous author from the north of Ireland. It was completely unexpected, and my experience of reading these stories was deeply emotional. I cried a couple of times, once on the plane to New York, and was completely breathless by the time I’d finished them. Essential reading.
Box Hill by Adam Mars Jones
This is the book that the film Pillion, starring Alexander Skarsgard and Harry Potter’s cousin, is based on. Even though I loved the film, the book was even better. I’m not really someone who always thinks the book is better, but there’s a broader narrative and emotional depth in the book that made It much more resonant for me than the film was. It’s narrated by Colin, who as the book opens, literally trips over a biker called Ray in Box Hill on his eighteenth birthday in the 1970s. What follows is a dom/sub relationship told entirely though Colin’s memory. It sounds like an odd premise, but it’s heartbreaking, and uplifting in odd ways.
Intimacies by Lucy Caldwell
Another set of short stories by an author from the north of Ireland, but these ones are mainly focused on Irish immigrant life in London and the various types of motherhood that one can inhabit. Even though I’m not a mother, and I have no plans to become one, I found this collection really absorbing and relatable. It could be that I used to be an Irish person living in London, but Lucy Caldwell’s writing is also beautiful and quite spare.
Funny Story by Emily Henry
Daphne gets dumped by her perfect boyfriend Peter, who realises he’s in love with his childhood bestie Petra. She is now homeless because she’s been living in Peter’s house (terrible mistake), so she moves in with Miles, who Petra dumped to be with Peter. When they both get invited to Peter and Petra’s wedding, Daphne and Miles decide to pretend to be a couple to fuck with them. What could go wrong?! I listened to this and it was a lot of fun.
