Reader’s Block

I’ve always believed in doing anything only if joy and pleasure are the end outcomes. Of course, I have various responsibilities and tasks that I have to undertake as an adult woman in her mid-thirties (scooping my cat’s litter tray comes to mind) that I’d rather not do, but I’ve never advocated for doing anything that isn’t mandatory unless it brings you happiness.

I often meet people and tell them how much I read and they seem ashamed of telling me that they don’t read as much as I do, or they don’t read at all. I don’t like to judge how anyone spends their free time and don’t understand why reading is held up as a better hobby than TV or knitting. I tend to read between seven and ten books a month, and it’s mostly done for the joy of it, but something isn’t clicking for me at the moment.

As I write, I’ve only read one book this month, and it’s been an audiobook. I’ve been travelling a lot, for work and personal reasons, my self care has gone out the window, and I feel a little uncomfortable in myself. I’m not as rested as I’d like, I’m heavier than feels good, and my daily yoga habit has slipped.

I say all of this not to worry anyone, as I’m actually doing well overall, and I’m definitely mostly happy, but it’s easy to get out of sync with ourselves, and I know that I’m not the only one feeling like this.

What have I been doing instead of reading? The list includes, but isn’t limited to:

1. Listening to Charli XCX’s new album Brat on repeat

2. Watching Vanderpump Villa

3. Eating tuna salad with what some would call an excessive amount of fresh herbs (dill, parsley and chives), scooping it straight from the bowl on Ritz crackers.

4. Watching Bojack Horseman

5. Drinking too much tea

6. Wondering what I should wear on a day that feels simultaneously summery and wintry.

7. Listening to The Archers

8. Going to bed at 9pm

9. Deleting my TikTok account

I’ll get my reading mojo back, and I’m giving myself grace and kindness until I do.