Self Help and Recovery

The insomnia continues, which explains why I’m writing at almost 1am on a Thursday morning. I’ve been doing a lot of reading while I can’t sleep, and while I focused on poetry in my last post, I wanted to talk about self help in this one.

I have done a lot of therapy. I attend Al Anon meetings, and I don’t drink or use drugs. These things all mean that I am very familiar with self help books, as well as memoirs and fiction about addiction and recovery.

I think self help books have a bad rap. If you’re a similar age to me (33), you’ll remember Charlotte in Sex and the City discovering Amazon when she tried to buy a self help book post-Trey divorce and being confronted with literal sobbing women in the relevant section at the bookshop. I’d like to think they’re considered a little less embarrassing and a lot more helpful these days.

At the moment, I’m reading Codependent No More by Melody Beattie and Glorious Rock Bottom by Bryony Gordon. I’m enjoying them both, finding their insights familiar, confronting and (obviously) helpful. I think half the battle is knowing that your experiences aren’t unique, and that there is always someone who knows how you’re feeling. It’s always comforting to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that there are things you can do now to feel better.

I also read my Al Anon literature every morning, which any 12 Step attendee will tell you is crucial. The daily readings give me focus and help me remember what’s really important.

This post is quite personal, and I do appreciate the people who reached out to check on me when I referenced my insomnia last time. I am genuinely fine, just experiencing an odd patch when it comes to my sleeping. I do hope that by being open about my own use of self help books, I can encourage those of you who may need them but are feeling a bit embarrassed to just go pick them up. It’s also important to not feel bad if a self help book doesn’t resonate, and to ditch it immediately. Self help is the most important genre to give up on if it’s not feeling right. Like with a good therapist, you need to feel the connection. A quick list of some or my favourite self help/recovery books are below. Don’t forget - Progress not perfection!

1. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

2. Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch

3. Untamed by Glennon Doyle

4. How to Break Up With Your Phone by Catherine Price

5. Rachel’s Holiday by Marian Keyes