The Joy of Giving Up

I am not someone who has an issue with saying no. I turn down social commitments I don’t want to go to, I put up boundaries at work and I protect my mental space. I don’t really ever experience fear of missing out anymore, so I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to give up on books, even ones that everyone else says are good.

As well as being someone who doesn’t feel FOMO, I’m deeply suspicious of critics and review culture. I don’t really think there’s such a thing as “good” art. Any kind of culture or expression, to me, exists to evoke feelings, and if someone else likes something, it doesn’t mean I will, or I have to. There shouldn’t be any kind of value judgement, and consensus doesn’t mean that we should deem some books more worthy than others.

This brings me neatly onto my attempt to read A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. It tells the story of four friends living in New York, centred around the enigmatic Jude, a queer and disabled lawyer. Everyone speaks so reverently about this book. It’s life changing! You’ll be destroyed! Prepare to cry your heart out!

Reader, I lasted a hundred pages out of about seven hundred. I struggled to connect with the characters and I found the use of traumatic incidents forced, stereotypical and exploitative. Instead of forcing myself to finish, I left the book on the train from Cork to Dublin. I hope it was picked up by someone who will enjoy it more than I did. After googling the plot (sue me!), I’m so glad I gave up. I’d have ended up flinging the book in the Liffey out of sheer frustration.

I don’t share this story to shit on Hanya Yanagihara, because my opinion is meaningless, but to encourage you to abandon things that don’t bring you joy. Just because everyone else loves something, doesn’t mean you will, and there’s no shame in putting something down and picking up something else that better fits your taste. Taste is so subjective and life is too short. I’m now reading a couple of books I’m enjoying much more. Reading shouldn’t be work!